Sometimes, you have no control over the things.
They just happen.
How? Why? You don't even know.
The first time I felt someone's shoulder resting on my lap, I didn't expect.
I was just sitting casually when you shifted your head from one side of the bed into my lap.
Not knowing what to do with my restless hands,
I just prepared myself to cross them over my chest .
I didn't expect when you asked for my hand to fill the gap in yours.
I didn't expect you to hold my hand the entire time. Asking for it again if at times I leave yours, somehow.
I never expected anyone to offer their arm for resting my head in them.
I was hesitant. Fearing about the closeness.
Because I am afraid of being a total stranger again.
The first time I could hear someone's breathe closer to me,
The first time I felt someone's lips touching mine,
The first time I felt the soft caressing on my cheeks,
The first time I felt someone's hand on my bare body,
I was not able to process it.
I was not even able to differentiate if it was a dream or the reality.
But, I did notice your eyelashes,
Dark and long perfectly fitting your eyes.
I noticed your fingers, that fitted mine perfectly.
I noticed how you looked without your specs.
Even though things moved quickly, more than I've imagined,
I guess I've fallen for you and probably I am going to keep it a secret.
I didn't expect holding you around your chest, engulfing entire you with my arm.
I didn't expect you holding me into your arms before you were leaving,
One thing you've missed was a kiss on the forehead.
To perfectly end the fairy tale.
Perhaps, now ,I would try to wake up from my fantasy into the reality.
A reality where I am afraid of being myself.
A reality I've lost myself for.
